Love — The nuanced version
“I love you.” — Which one is that?
Ever encountered a situation where you have to think of the words they truly mean? Because you’re always questioning — is this love or not?
There are different channels of love and it’s nuances have been captured in the Greek language more precisely unlike the English who settled with just one universal term that often needs a lot of words to describe its variants. Not a universal term, that’s for sure!
The following is a breakdown of each.
TYPES OF LOVE
- Agapē
Agapē is the selfless and altruistic form of love that exists amidst the most benevolent humans, agapē is the consistent love backed by a universal purpose much like service to God or humanity. This kind of love is spiritual that morphs into love for mankind. It is a Greco-Christian term that refers to unconditional love and often reflects in acts of charity and good deeds. It translates into a completely willful sacrifice more than often.
2. Philia
Philia is friendly. The love that’s platonic. It is love that exists between friends and peers. Translated as “friendship” in English or affection in Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics, it functions without the Eros. It marks the absence of Eros (which is the following).
3. Eros
Eros is impulsive. It entails sexual desires towards someone. The term is derived from the Greek God of passion and fertility who passionately indulged in sexual pleasures. Translated as eroticism in English, eros is the impulsive kind of love that accompanies irrepressible feelings and strokes your innate urges.
4. Storge
Familial love is storge. A love that entails endearment and affection, all the way to its core. Irreproachable in command, don’t you hear very often that family is family? That’s exactly what this means. Storge is just familial love. Love is brotherly, sisterly, parental and between siblings. The exact opposite of which is incest.
5. Pragma
Pragma is love that endures. Between partners that have stood the test of time and have apparently survived it. Once a while, they might seem to have lost a sense of attraction towards each other but still believe in the love that exists through fruition of it. Through children of their own, extended duties and partnering responsibilities between them, they find their storge.
6. Ludus
Ludus, fully instinctive in nature is the love that infatuates. This love makes a person feel young and exuberant. Ludus is driven by acts of spontaneity. It is the situation of having a crush and acting on it. A fling is an example of ludus. No implications, no obligations!
7. Mania
This is the obsessive kind of love that is driven by emotional uncertainty. In Roman mythology, Manea was the goddess of the dead. In Greek Mythology, she is the goddess of insanity and madness. This is what mania is. Maniacs are fervent followers of mania that conceive possessiveness and extreme jealousy in fatal ways.
8. Philautia
Self-love is not a novel concept. It is, first, a healthy kind of self-love purely based on self-care to reinforce self-esteem. For instance, treating yourself to a new restaurant, book or putting on a face mask to pamper your skin or buying yourself a gift, is philautia. The other concept is self-centered, a selfish desire for praise and admiration that stands on the premises of a deluded concept that is misconstrued for self-worth and status. It gives birth to narcissism if not treated early on and is one of the most unbecoming of traits.
LOVE isn’t SELFISH. And if bound by selfish motives, it’s not love. Read that again.
Everyone wants a selfless lover. These themes of love explain exactly the character of the person saying the L word. Beware of the wolves in sheep’s clothing. And take care of yourself.
Sincerely,
Love
